Proactive Parenting
THE CLASSES
Your parenting style is a reflection of how you raised OR it could be the polar opposite, depending on your personal experience as a child. When two people get together and have children, they bring both their experiences into the union and often clash. I wrote these classes to help you blend instead of clash-to present a loving, united relationship to model to your children and to learn some tried and true techniques. It truly is a fascinating class, if I say so myself, and you both can benefit greatly by attending! All students must pre-register and pay before attending the class. No refunds.
THE COUNSELING
The first step to making an appointment for free counseling is for you to fill out the questionnaire:
PROACTIVE PARENTING
Please keep in mind as you read these very personal questions about yourself and your family that the answers are kept in the strictest of confidence-you can be totally honest and frank. In fact, permanent solutions cannot be reached unless you are. Each of you need to answer these questions separately and submit them to me by email.
Send them by copying and pasting everything onto a word document and emailing the document to me as an attachment. Those parents who answer the following questionnaire are entitled to free counseling. Those teens who answer their own questionnaire also on this site and attend the monthly classes are entitled to the same.
If both parents of the children are living together, they need to attend the classes and counseling together to get the most of it for their children. If you are a single parent, then come by yourself to the class if your ex doesn’t want to come. If you are remarried or in a living together arrangement with another partner and they want to attend because you are both raising your, or their children together, it would be best for all concerned to attend together.
In addition to filling out this questionnaire, you must take the following online test and submit by copying and pasting the results onto a word document and emailing it all to me in order to receive the free counseling.
https://www.understandmyself.com/personality-assessment
COPY AND PASTE THIS LINK INTO YOUR BROWSER TO TAKE THE TEST
The specialized, personalized report you will receive after completing the understandmyself.com process will help you understand your personality in great detail, and aid you substantially in your understanding of others. It will help you determine what jobs suit you and why, what sort of people you are likely to find compatible (and incompatible), where your strengths and weaknesses lie and, perhaps most importantly, just how profound the differences between individuals actually are. It isn’t only that we differ in our opinions.
We differ in how we perceive the world, how we filter our facts, and how we arrange our goals and actions. Appreciation for the genuine differences between people can help you orient yourself in the world, and appreciate the truly diverse viewpoints necessary to make the complex systems of society function, as well as increasing your comprehension of the singular and unique combination of basic traits and subsidiary aspects that characterize you, personally.
After taking the test and you have your results, copy and paste all results into a word document and send to starr@marriage101.net When I have both of your results from this test, I will do a compatibility workup that will help me counsel you as a couple. This test is 9.99 each, but I need it to help you.
NAME:
EMAIL:
DATE OF BIRTH: AGE:
ADDRESS LINE:
ZIP CODE:
PHONE:
YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT & POSITION AT YOUR JOB:
NAME OF YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE:
NAME OF YOUR SPOUSE/PARTNER?:
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER
1. How long have you been together?
2. Are you married?
3. If so, did you live together before you were married?
4. What is your wedding date?
5. If you are currently married, is this your first marriage? If not, list previous spouse and length of relationship.
6. How long after you began to live together, married or not, did your relationship change?
7. Do you agree or disagree with your partner on how the children are being raised? Explain.
8. Why did you get married?
9. Were the children all planned?
10. How did your relatives react when you first told them yall were going to have ach baby?
SPIRITUAL
11. Do you believe in God?
12. Do you pray daily with your spouse or partner in front of your children?
13. Do you pray with and for your children?
14. Do you teach your children about God?
15. Where do you attend church?
16. Do you attend regularly together?
17. If you have a relationship with Jesus, describe it and when it first began.
18. Do you have a tough time forgiving your spouse or children?
19. Do you encourage them to forgive or how to get even?
GROWING UP-YOUR PARENTS, ETC
20. Ages of your parents and siblings:
21. Did someone other than your parents raise you?
22. Did either of your parents abuse you in any way?
23. Where are you in the birth order? (ex: firstborn, middle-born etc.)
24. Are your parents still married?
25. If not, why did they divorce?
26. Does divorce run in your family?
27. Do you tell your family when you are in strife with your spouse?
28. Describe life at home growing up. Good and bad. (PLEASE BE DETAILED)
SOCIAL
29. What do you do together as a family and how often do you do it?
30. Do you take family vacations together?
31. Do you eat together as a family regularly?
32. Do you play games as a family together?
33. How often do you go out without the children?
34. Do you get a sitter?
35. Do you ever do yard work together with your children?
36. Do you know your children’s friends and their parents well?
37. Do you always know where your children are and who they are with?
38. Would you say your children are obedient or rebellious?
39. Which one is most rebellious and which is most obedient?
40. Why do you think this is, in your opinion?
41. What type of pets do you have at home?
42. Describe here a typical evening at home with the family.
43. Describe here a typical Saturday with the family.
44. Describe here a typical Sunday with the family.
45. Do you have married friends?
46. If so, would you say they have a better or worse marriage than you do?
47. Do they encourage you to forgive your spouse or condemn when you tell them you have been in strife?
48. Do you hang out with single friends without your spouse? If so, how many times a week on the average?
49. Does anyone in the household have Social network trouble, ex: Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter etc.?
50. Would your spouse say that you are on your phone too much?
51. Do you believe your children are on their cell (if they have one) too much?
52. What age were each of your children when they got their first cell phone? Their first car?
53. Do you hang out with or text daily or talk to and confide in with a member of the opposite sex?
54. If so, what does your spouse say about that?
55. Do you go out without your spouse with the guys/girls?
PHYSICAL
56. Do you lovingly still touch your teens?
57. Do you kiss your teens good night?
58. What form of discipline do you use at home?
59. Who does the disciplining with the children primarily?
60. Do the children have a regular bedtime that is enforced?
61. Do you make regular eye contact with your children?
62. Do you have a favorite child and do they know it?
63. Do you ever physically, verbally or psychologically abuse any of your children?
64. If so, which one and how often?
65. If you know why, please explain.
66. How many hours sleep do you get on an average?
67. When was the last time you went out alone together?
68. Do you hang out with single friends?
69. Do you plan regular get-away’s alone together?
70. How long has it been since you were intimate with your spouse? How often weekly are you intimate?
71. How much water do you average daily?
72. Do you take medication? If so, why?
73. Are you addicted to alcohol or any other substances?
74. In-law trouble?
75. Describe the main problem you are each having right now in your marriage?
FAMILY
76. Do your children have a relationship with the relatives on both sides of your marriage?
77. Which relatives are closest to them?
78. Why and how?
79. Do you have strife with anyone in your family?
80. If so, how has this affected your children?
81. Do your children see you and your spouse have fun and touch non-sexually and enjoy each other?
82. Do your children see you argue on a regular basis?
83. Have the children ever seen you abuse your spouse or curse at them or you do it?
84. If so, how did this seem to affect them?
85. If so, what did you do if anything to restore peace?
86. Do your children ever see you make up with your spouse after an argument or is this something you do behind closed doors?
87. Would you say that your children can talk freely to you about any and every subject?
88. Describe the main problem you are having with each child right now.
Take the Understand Myself test ($9.99)
https://www.understandmyself.com/personality-assessment
This is the only test you will have to pay for online, but I need this to help you. Copy and paste your full results page onto a word document and email them as attachments to starr@marriage101.net
It isn’t only that we differ in our opinions. We differ in how we perceive the world, how we filter our facts, and how we arrange our goals and actions. Appreciation for the genuine differences between people can help you orient yourself in the world, and appreciate the truly diverse viewpoints necessary to make the complex systems of society function, as well as increasing your comprehension of the singular and unique combination of basic traits and subsidiary aspects that characterize you personally.
When I have your results from this test, I will do a work-up on you and contact you for an appointment.
Please allow for 2-3 hours with us when you set your appointments. I never go according to the length of time you are here – I depend on being led by the Holy Spirit and some appointments take longer than others.
My time is very limited, so if you cancel an appointment, it hurts other parents waiting in line for their appointment. I allow one canceled appointment but after that, if there is another, I can no longer make appointments with you.
I realize that completing the questionnaire and taking and submitting the tests will take time, but if you are committed to helping your relationship with your child, you will do whatever it takes to get help. There are people who won't do the work, but we are hoping you aren't one of them. Your child is worth it. Do it today. The counseling is free for heaven's sake!
There is never a charge for counseling only for the sessions, but the class that accompanies the counseling is $40.00 per couple, payable before the session begins.